You're kidding me. No?

I often find myself purchasing things for Evan that I want. This Christmas I bought him 2 books for myself:) One was full of Science experiments and the other was the Guinness Book of World Records 2009! Yup, I love Guinness (not the beer) as much as Where's Waldo:) This one came with 3D glasses which make for an exciting adventure!! I'm going to share a few of my ever so interesting findings with all 2 of you that actually read this... Hold on to your seats!!!

- Mayflies have the shortest lifespan. They spend 2-3 years as nymphs at the bottom of lakes and streams and then live as little as one hour as winged adults. There's one reason we should be thankful:)

- The rarest bird is the North American ivory-billed woodpecker. In a year long expedition only a single male specimen was discovered. Sad:(

- The largest species of rat is the slender-tailed cloud rat of Luzon. Yes, the Philippines. This tree-climbing rat measures almost 3 ft. 3 in!! I wonder if they eat them??

- If our tongues were as long as a nectar bat's, we'd be able to lick our toes while standing upright!! I know some people who would enjoy that too much. Haha.

- Heaviest man ever was estimated to weigh 1,400 pounds. No comment.

- Most toes and fingers on a living person is 25.

- The most expensive haircut was performed by Stuart Phillips from London for a mere $16,420.00! Forget that, I'm getting a new car!!

- The greatest confirmed age to which any human has lived is 122 years 164 days by Jeanne Calment of France.

Alright, enough for now. Stay tuned...

Just a random thought...

Ever since I was a little one, I've always wanted to try synchronized swimming. Growing up, my sister and I would make up routines. Such precision and grace. I don't know where I'm going with this one, I just saw a commercial for NYQUIL that featured these fancy gals...

I don't know how they do it...

So I have been fasting for the past 25 hours, only 15 more to go!

Ahhh... Christmas.

I'm having a really hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I haven't even started Christmas shopping, and this time last year I was done by black friday. Putting up my tree was more of a hassle than desire, and no light will be put up in the "yard". I just don't get it. I'll snap into it, hopefully.

The Tampa Chronicles...

I truly pray to the Lord that no one from my company reads this...


I went to Tampa for business Thursday morning, along with a few female co-workers. I was responsible for Lisa and I ALMOST missing the plane. I HAD to stop for coffee!!

We reached Tampa and it's wonderful 80 degree weather around 4ish... We checked out our awesome digs, then met in the lobby for a Meet and Greet at 6. Turns out, we weren't even supposed to go to that. Oh shit I thought....I can see a crazy time coming on:) I was correct!

We caught the first taxi and asked him to take us someplace "cool", with tattoo parlors and bars. Within minutes we were in Eybor. One of the coolest little spots I've been to in a while. First stop, tattoo parlor. I already knew that I wanted Evan's name on my knuckles so I was set to go. Lisa got a "bat" on her foot. No...not a baseball bat, the other kind. Brandie did some Chinese lettering on her neck, and Summer (it was her first time), received a tribal design of sorts on her upper arm.
Of course, I had a crush on the the artist that did mine.





We checked out the sex shop next door, then got some grub at this quaint little sandwich shop.



After checking out a few lame bars we ended up at a hip hop club. Imagine that. That's where it was all goin down I suppose. We paid a 10 dollar cover and had free drinks the remainder of the night. Not too shabby.


Brandie and I showed some lovin...







I'm sure we showed those Floridians how we roll here in SLC:)

We miraculously made it back to the hotel in one piece! Crashed on the elevator for a bit, then headed to Lisa's room for one last drink. Wasn't happening I guess. We all woke up with full glasses of wine and beer within reach.

We all made it to our meetings one way or another. But most importantly, Lisa and I were able to find our car at 10 o'clock at night after getting on 3 or 4 wrong shuttles. Thanks to moi again...

Feeling down

Oh, and....

I forgot to add some shows to the below bloglette.

1. The Reverend Horton Heat, Supersuckers, and Nashville Pussy.


2. The Police with Elvis Costello.



3. Jack Johnson and Rogue Wave.


I keep thinking of more shit I did. Like Lagoon, State Fair, Roller Derby, Fishing AF Canyon, Skateboarding (watching it mostly), river rafting, Park City...

Ugh. That's how I feel.

Wow. I was on a total blogging spree there for a while, but for some reason the past 2 months have left me with some sort of bloggers block. Not that anyone really reads this, but I like to refer to it for my own personal amusement time to time.
This summer has been quite uneventful. But sometimes that's the way I like things. Some memorable summer moments are as follows...

1. Trip to California which included my first (and last) straight edge show. Meeting some of Jay's amazingly cool friends. Attending a beautiful bonfire and wedding in Hunington Beach. Winning in Vegas. Staying in the shittiest hotel ever (there were cockroaches). Getting to see the World's largest thermometer. And meeting up with Cindee and Sunshine in Santa Monica.

2. Moving into a new place. I adore it.

3. Neko Case with Thanh, Jay, and Shane.

4. Wendover.

5. Art's Festival.

6. Farmer's Market.

7. Gallery Stroll.

8. Lazy days at the Draper pool with Ev.

9. House sitting for Lisa and getting to see Lucy Goosey again.

10. Thanksgiving Point with Ev and Shane.

11. Boondock's, Bee's game, and bike ride with Jay.

That's all I can think of for now. When I have more time I will post some pics from my ever so exciting summer. Don't hold your breath, it may take me a few months:) Here's one because I feel obligated.

A Night with Ted and Max

Last night I was torn between going to see that new Will Farrell movie, or staying home and relaxing with Ev. I chose to stay home, although not much relaxin was done.

We did watch The Bucket List which was fairly good, But at about 10 o'clock someone was knocking on my door. It was my neighbor Joe inviting Ev and I to a bbq Thursday. I agreed...This is where things get a little crazy...

Around 10:30, the glass door on my curio cabinet just completely falls off. Luckily Joe was there to put it back together. Then, as we were sitting on the porch I see a frog just hangin out by my potted plants out front. Do they even do that? Just hang out with human life. It was almost like he was a spy or something. Anyway, we named him Ted.

Later Joe invited Ev and I to see his snakes. He owns 2 ball pythons. We got to "play" with the male, but I guess the female is a total lose cannon so she stayed in her little sanctuary. It was quite entertaining.

After a bloody mary with his folks, I decided it was time to throw in the towel. So when I get home I notice that my front door was completely open. Ev and I searched everywhere for VooDoo and had no luck. We even drove to our old residence in hopes of finding him there. Nope. I assured Ev that he would come home. Cats just do. We went to bed only to quickly be awakened to purring of the VooDoo sort. He comes prancin down the hall like nothing ever happened. I think he was under a bed somewhere all night to be honest. I would've been too givin a night like that:)

Roller Derby fun

It's been a dream of mine to be a derby girl for some time now. I really just like the aspect of roller skating and getting a little roughty. The outfits look like a good time too:)

Anyway, yesterday a few friends and I decided to check it out. We went to the Olympic oval for the festivities at 7:00, grabbed a quick beer, and sat in the front row (which happens to be the floor). It was absolutely freezing in that place. Duh, there's ice surrounding us, we could have purchased a blanket but they were 40 bucks. No thanks.

I didn't know much about the game, but with Shane's help and a pamphlet, I got it figured out fairly quickly. It was a good time. Salt Lake Shakers won by a landslides.

Try outs are in the fall. Which gives me plenty of time to brush up on my roller skating skills and put together a fabulous outfit...

Cleptomaniac

Long story short. These are the items that I "inadvertently" walked away with at Wal-Mart.

Fun in da sun

This weekend turned out a long and entertaining one. It started with house sitting Thanh's Thursday night. Ev chose to stay at grandma's. Which left me bored and in Sugarhouse. A friend of mine stopped by to say hi, then I thought I would go see a show with my friend Jay. Bad idea for a work night. We caught the tail end of the Slippery Kittens at Bar Deluxe, then stayed for The Hillbilly Hellcats. I could be totally wrong with the name...but I was super tired! And a few sheets to the wind. When will I ever learn? Ha.

Friday I did muster up enough energy to straggle into work an hour late wearing a pair of Thanh's too big tennis shoes. I completed my tasks at hand and left around noon. I headed straight to get Ev and go to the pool. We had a fantastic time. Came home, pack ed, and made our way to Thanh's. Took the dogs for a nice walk and pretty much called it a night.

Saturday morning we awoke bright and early for The Farmer's Market and Art Festival. Picked up Jen and Teagan at 9:30 or so and we were on our way. The Market was ok. I think the heat took it's toll on us fast! I don't think we bought anything but food and water. The kids did make out with a balloon animal and got to pet a snake:)

After The Market we decided we needed a quick break so we headed back to Jen's. We curled up on her "chair" and crashed. No worries, the tv was babysitting:)

Twenty minutes later we were off to The Art's Festival. Holy Hotness! Thank God for beer! We were in and out of that place with lightning speed. The only vendor/booth I truly enjoyed was a folk artist fellow by the name of Dave Borba. Amazing work. I wish I were rich. Hmm.

After that I was completely drained! We dropped off Jen and Teags and went back to Thanh's. Got cleaned up, took the dogs for a walk, then walked over to the bookstore and had some ice cream from Maggie Moo's. Once we got back we literally cuddled up on the couch and crashed within 2 minutes of watching A Night At The Museum. Snore.

This morning we cleaned up and went to the Draper pool again. We ran into Ev's best friend and his dad whom all dared me to go off the high dive. I did. It was the first time in like 15 years. I must have looked like such the village idiot. Oh well, it was fun. Came home and now I'm off to pick up Thanh from the airport. My what a weekend she missed:)

PTA mom.

At the beginning of Evan's school year, I decided to sign up for PTA. I was feeling like quite the good parent that day. I even signed up to teach an art class!

I had heard not a word for months, until a few weeks ago when Ev brought home a shredded piece of paper giving me the times that I needed to be there to help with this art class.

I marked it on my calendar and showed up with bells on:) My duty was to help his class make paper mache puppets that they would later use to perform their plays. I had a great time drawing and painting faces on their characters. They did an awesome job!! I took pics of some of my favorites. Ev was Babe The Blue Ox:)

In training.

So I deemed today mental health/pool day for Ev and I. Some people may think of me as a bad parent for not only allowing my son to miss school, but coming up with the idea and actually condoning it. I DID think it over before bringing it up to Evan. And...it ended up being a wonderful bonding time for us.

Aside from our, for the most part wonderful day, there were a few upsets at the pool. Most people might go un-fazed, but not I...

Evan jumped into the pool, and within 2 minutes (no joke) the lifeguards start blowing their whistles and shouting "Get OUT of the pool!" Then they leave us hanging for a good ten minutes. I thought it was a routine check, but I was mistaken. Someone finally got on the loudspeaker to announce the reason for everyones abrupt exit. Turns out, someone pooped in the pool. Yup. Now I know this happens, but the Draper pool requires all kids have swimming diapers AND a plastic cover over it! How in the hell did shit escape? They then proceed to inform us that this was not an infant or toddler! Sick! We were also reminded to make sure to remind our children to use the restroom every half an hour or so. Seriously? If your non-diaper wearing kid has accidents in the pool, and needs to be "reminded" to use the restroom...then there's probably a little something else going on upstairs.

My other problem involved some obnoxious teenage girls who chose to camp out right next to Ev and I. All I will say is that I had a good "come to Jesus" talk with them...

Chalk

Yesterday was quite eventful for me. I woke up at 4:30am, got dressed, woke up Ev, then headed downtown to babysit Teagan. Her awesome mommy was going to do a 25 mile bike ride for diabetes. About 5 minutes after Jen and her friend walked out the door, little Teagan woke up. So basically my day started at 4:30.

I did all I could to occupy Teags and Ev while trying to get myself ready for the day. Take a shower; put in a movie, brush my hair; find food, get dressed; play dolls. It was very interesting doing girly princess things. As much as I enjoyed making Teagan happy, I'm happy I had a boy. I was always quite the tomboy growing up so I didn't even know how to "play dolls."

My initial plan was to go to Farmer's Market. That plan failed, so we ended up at The Gateway for a chalk art contest. We had a great time, some of the artists were amazing. They had a plethora of booths giving out free shit. Teagan got her hair spray painted with green stripes and a big pink glitter star painted on her cheek. Evan opted out (that's my boy).

On our way back to the car Jen had called letting me know she was home. Perfect timing. I think both were ready for a hefty nap:)

Anyway, I snapped a few pics. Enjoy.